In our weekly website feature, a Morton player gives both an insight into his career and the inside scoop on his Ton team-mates by answering a series of questions posed by media officer Jonathan Mitchell.
Name: Gary Harkins.
Nickname: Jeebsy (because a very handsome guy in Men In Black looks like me).
Time at Morton: I’ve been at Morton since June.
Any targets set for this season: As high up the league as possible. Better than last year would be good.
Greatest achievement in football: I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in football. Winning the CIS Cup with Kilmarnock or captaining Dundee through administration are probably my fondest achievements. I’m very lucky to still be playing at 33.
Best ground you’ve played at: I’d say Celtic Park, or Anfield in the FA Cup.
Favourite Band/Musician: I have an eclectic taste in music so couldn’t say who my favourite is. I’m loving bands that sing in Scottish accents at the moment!
Favourite Food: Pasta and pizza would be my favourite. Gianni at the west station provides my superstitious Friday night meal – and has for years!
Choose any three people to go on a night out with and why: I’d need to take my roommate Bob McHugh for starters. He allowed me 30 seconds sleep in Belfast, and the rest of the time I was laughing. Robert Thomson would be the next addition. The type of guy who disappears for 15 minutes and comes back with his face painted like Spiderman. You’re not 16 anymore, Robert! Last addition to my night out would be a toss up between the big handsome Lamie – sacrificing chat for looks, if he is chosen – or Tids. I’ve known him a long time and, although he is now a lot more leather looking, he’s still a top man.
Choose a team-mate to swap lives with for a day: Swapping lives is a tough one. There are a couple of weird men I wouldn’t mind knowing what is going through their heads. Although he’s really small and square, like really small, I wouldn’t mind having Peps’ [Conor Pepper] accent and six-pack for a while. Wouldn’t be Gats – I drop enough things in my own life. I’ll go with Andy Murdoch: handsome wee bam and I could do so much with all that energy!
Fastest team-mate: I reckon Tiff or Jai. Doyley is the slowest fast guy I’ve ever seen – so quick and never runs by anyone. Forbesy is the fastest slow guy – so slow but runs past people all the time!
Slowest team-mate: I’d like to watch a race between O’Ware, big Luca, and Gats. It would be like watching a sprint in slow motion!
Most skilful team-mate: That would be Mark Russell or Frank Ross. A joy to watch Marky every day. I just need to teach him to kick people now. There is some wizardry in the boy Ross as well.
Best dressed team-mate: That would have to be big Lamie. Looks a million dollars, even the day he wore Maverick’s jacket in. Forbesy has a go every day as well and is definitely worth a mention.
Worst dressed team-mate: There is a list. Murdoch dresses like Avril Lavigne on her first album. Doyley came in the other day with Marty McFly’s trainers on. Jai came in with an actual sheep costume on. Was a baaaaad jumper.
Team hardman: The team hardman is Marky Russell. Used to do a bit of fighting he told me. Not to be messed with.
Best trainer: There are quite a few good trainers at the club. For both work rate and ability, I’d need to say Tids.
Worst trainer: I’m not gonna name names. Depends what mood a few of them are in – and I’m not quiet in telling them!
Best dancer: Quitongo and O’Ware love a dance move. Some of Tam’s are disgraceful for a centre-half. Like a big drag queen.
Biggest joker: Russell and Murdoch can’t be trusted. Always up to mischief. Doyley loves some Twitter banter. Some of his posts have been a shambles so far, though. Huge fine coming if he keeps up the nonsense.
Most intelligent: I’ve seen some boys write Robert Thomson on this because he “goes to uni”. But he has no common sense. There is a wee monkey banging a drum walking around his head. I’ll go with Tids or myself. Can’t buy experience.
Least Intelligent: Tiff thought dingo dollars was the currency of Australia. All goalies are incredibly stupid. Gaz ‘the vein’ Oliver keeps buying fake gear thinking it’s real. Clear lack of intelligence.
Biggest Moaner: I’d say myself, Tids or Forbesy on the moaning front. I’d say it’s more demanding a standard than ‘moaning’, though.
Tightest: Must be Lamie. I’ve never known a guy to argue so much over a fine.
If you could pick a wish for a team-mate, what would it be and for whom: I’d like all my team-mates to realise how lucky they are and go on to have as many years playing this game as they want to have.
Image: Ross Cameron